Bah, Argh, Blergh, Ach, Wah, Noooooo!!

Crikey. I couldn't sleep last night, the melatonin's not working anymore! The cause of my anxiety? A little place called RyeHigh and it's "fashion design" program. It would indeed be most suitably personified as a wench (luv that word!), aesthetically and conceptually. Is school really supposed to be this painful? I have a feeling I might be in the wrong place - TO, RyeHigh and I were just not meant to be. See you in New Zealand?

OK, Diary, laters.

Cause and Effect

You can't eat onion rings all day and not pay the price!




Is anyone still reading this??

Soooo...

Hey,

Have you ever had to pee really bad the whole way home? So bad that you could barely hold it, and when you got home, ready to hit the can, the door to the bathroom wass CLOSED and someone wass inside taking an epic shower? Yeah, me too.

Sooo...have you ever then ever grabbed the largest empty yogurt tub you could find in the kitchen, run into your room, slammed the door and taken a leak right into the tub, all the while feeling nothing but sweet blessed relief? Yeah, me neither.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77zv80h0Inw

CAT-TITUDE!!

And a pool scene.

Hello, Toronto

Back in the Big Whatever...sorry, I have no photos at the moment. Instead, I have a haiku that I meant to write and post last year.

Here goes...


Balls on my shoulder
Monday to Friday, mornings,
It's called a street car.

I know, technically streetcar is one word. So sue me!

Miss you, friends in the 'Couv, and the 'Couv itself (who would've thought that day would come??!).

Goodbye, St. Paul: Pt. 2

Well, things are drawing to a close here; I leave in two days after spending almost 60 days here - crazy!

I definitely feel a little bittersweet about my departure, but I'm looking forward to seeing you, my peeps! And eating at a restaurant, and perhaps even going to the cinema! Oh, the choices, the choices! Will I be completely overwhelmed?? Will I be eaten alive by the BIG CITY??? We were talking to a guy about Hawaii last night, how he goes there every now and then and how the hot weather is good for his arthritis. If this place had hot springs I'd be tempted to accept that substitute teacher job.

Cheeseburgers on Saturday, anyone? Just let me know when and where!

I crawled around the breakwater after work today and found The Spot for a little nap. The puffins were flying around, the waves were crashing, the sun was on my face. Please forgive me if I come back an unbearably earnest, self-satisfied nature freak. Feel free to wipe the beatific smile off my face - someone will need to.

OK. I have no idea what photo's I've posted but I hope you like them!

Bye! See you soon!

Goodbye, St. Paul: Pt. 1

Pleasantries

Hi guys,

I realize I've been bombarding you with the gruesome and the dead, so here are some compensatory pix of flowers and the like, AKA "I discovered the macro function on my camera". But seriously...are these wee flowers not beautfiul?? Did I spell that right?? We have some arctic poppies, a violet, a white flower of some sort, a monkshood, and some wild celery (puuchki to the locals).

It's been an absolutely beautiful day today, an exceptional day. I walked to work with the full moon low in the sky, illuminating the sea with a golden glow, and then I sat drinking my PBR on the beach at about 7 pm, enjoying the sun on my face. When the skies are clear and the sun's out, this place is pretty incredible, and I'm not just saying that cause I've had 6 drinks. The skies are red tonight, maybe it'll be a sailor's delight tomorrow. Hopefully. Another reindeer has been shot so we're in for some heart 'n' liver treats for dinner tomorrow. We had a delicious potluck tonight - halibut cheeks w/ aioli from me, venison chili from Bob, and various veggies from everyone else.

Yes, it's been a good Saturday, and I hope you've had the same!

Tripe Nite 2008!

Ho ho ho!!!

Reindeer on St. Paul sure make for good eatin'! Terry the Vet and his son Troy shot two of these fine creatures last week and kindly went back out into the field at about midnight, with me and my bud Erin, to collect some tripe, which we naively promised to transform into a delightful appetizer. All went well in the end, but quite a bit of prayer was involved. And a suppression of our gag reflexes.
After some cosultation, we determined that we were looking for two of the four stomachs: the omasum and the rumen. Looking for a set of antlers and a bag of guts in the pitch-black arctic tundra with one flashlight isn't the easiest thing in the world, but we used our noses and eventually came upon what we were looking for. Satisfied, Terry the Pro got to work, we took the requisite photographs, and then we headed back to civilization, where it took us an hour and a half to clean the fucking shit.
Then we boiled it for four hours. It fucking stank like poo dragged through the asshole of Death. Some of the more adventurous Americans chowed down on the plain boiled tripe, but I had to disguise it with some spray cheese on a Triscuit. In the end, we wound up cutting it up into tiny strips and stewing it in a heavily flavoured sauce.
And...I'm happy to report that it was a hit! All the haters and doubters loved it!

We are currently in the process of attempting to make soap from the reindeer fat. The yarrow is drying, the fat is rendered, and the lye has arrived. Wish us luck!

Broken-Ankle Saturday

Dear friends,

I hope this post finds you happy, healthy and whole, as the lady in the white turban has said to me for the past 7 years. Well, I suppose she wasn't talking about a blog post but never mind.

The first photograph on this here entry is that of a fur seal pup in the arm of Terry the Vet. I cannot tell you where this photograph was taken in case the animal po-po comes after our asses, but I can say that it was part of a dramatic and heroic pup rescue performed several days ago. Hopefully the wee guy/gal was reunited with its mother and not tossed around like a football by some aggro bulls (which I witnessed on Monday - tragic).

Spot the puffin!

I busted my ankle on the way to work the other morning. Ouch! Having a sprained ankle sucks! I can't believe that my employer makes me walk to work in the dark! There are no streetlights here, obviously, and I like to hurry through a shortcut that involves many rough spots. Someone suggested that I call a taxi from now on. Ha! I think I will! Yesterday, I slammed my thumb in the door of a truck. I am a walking disaster these days, and it is all documented for your viewing pleasure.

KUHB, the voice of the Pribilofs, is blaring away with its usual eclectic mix of Ugly Kid Joe, the Cure and random hiphop. I am having a good day cause it began with pancakes, OJ and coffee, and now I'm listening to the radio and writing to you, my dear readers.

I hope you are having a good day too!

Hello From Somewhere

Soooo...here is a dead fox. Below it is the dead fox cut open. Phew!! What a smell!

There are Northern Fur Seals here that several groups study. They are a crazy animal. Crazy, mean, abusive, brutal, not nice, harsh, primal, angry fuckers. Who would think it from these photos? Aren't those mums and pups adorable? I have a picture of a pup rescue coming up that'll make you squeal, it's so darned cute!

Ummmm...what else? Some seal guys in a box? One of them got bit and now has "seal finger".

And we'll throw in a picture of some bird nerds.

Goodnight, amigos.

Jane

Inside Job, Part Two

Hmmm...I can't remember what order these photos are in, but I have a feeling the kitty-spaying one is first. Ooops. Hope everyone's had lunch! Yeah anyways, Terry the Vet asked me to be the surgery nurse for a cat spaying two days ago. I was just internet shopping so I said, sure, what the heck. What happens in St. Paul stays in St. Paul, right? I was afraid I'd pass out or barf, but instead I was a good little nurse and held the clamps and opened the sterile packages and injected the cat. Twice. He was spaying another cat yesterday so I went and took some pictures. I also made a video but this damn webiste won't let me post it! I will endeavour to figure it out, and hopefully you will soon be rewared with the fruits of my effort.

There are some corny nature photos that do no justice to what I actually saw. Sunsets at 12:00 AM? Beautiful! Trying to capture it with a cheap little point 'n' shoot? Not possible! But hopefully you get a little idea of what I've seen.

OK, keep those Teen Vogues coming!

I also think that reindeer fur accoutrements will be the hit accessory for Fall 2009. You heard it here first, bitches.

Inside Job, Part One

God...I can barely stay awake and I sleep 10-14 hours a day!

OK, today we have some photos of my work environment and my friends, the Halibut Heads!! Yes, I reach my paws into that vat of heads, line up ten at a time, and scan away! Thrilling, I know! Sometimes, just to mix it up, I scan the heads as they are being chopped off the bodies! Actually, that officially begins today. Work is getting...unfriendly. I showed up today at what I thought was a reasonable hour only to be greeted with, "You're late. You're always late. Is it cause you've been drinking the night before? If you do this after we chop the heads off and not during, it wastes a lot of time, you know." All delivered in a barely decipherable Tagalog-accented mumble. It should be noted that anytime I've tried to pry an exact start time out of the foreman, the only answers I've gotten are, "In the morning", or "After dinner", or "Tomorrow". Apparently, the psychic in me is supposed to know that this means 7 A.M., though sometimes it's 6, or else 5:30 P.M., but sometimes it could be 8:30 P.M.

Anyways. Enough about work! Who thinks Australians are alright? Vote now! I'll tell you my opinion after the polls close!

Hugs!

Photos, Photos, Photos

Hi everyone,

Well, here are some more photos of the island of St. Paul, where I will be til August 29 or so, waving a carpal-tunnel inducing wand over thousands and thousands of halibut heads. But maybe you already knew that.

One of the bird researchers took pity on the pitiful, vehicle-less state of the employees of the Halibut Commission and drove our sad asses around the island yesterday. It was AWESOME!!! This place is amazingly beautiful when you can get out of town and to all the cliffs and beaches and dunes and things; unfortunately, the Commission provides one crappy mountain bike for the two of us, which on the gnarly dirt roads here doesn't take you far. Below you will find examples of the countryside, as well as a photograph of some Arctic poppies which are an unreal acid-yellow colour. I believe you might also see some cuuuuuuuute Arctic foxes. Oh, and the sign on the door of the grocery store.

Bye!

What $20 Gets You In St. Paul, AK

5 lbs. of flour, 1 lb. of walnuts


6 cans of Miller High Life, 1 $10 phone card

PHOTOMANIA!!!!!!!!!!

foggy graves

old town

supper!!!



the view from my window